The Worst Misconception of Motivation & Performance: Why Corporate Fails to Motivate Employees

While it’s tempting for companies to fall into the trap of “show me the money!” in an attempt to increase performance, productivity, and engagement, the studies have shown that these three drives are more effective and long-lasting.

There are three core motivators that drive performance greater than anything else. What’s shocking is that very few companies and organizations leverage these. Some even constrict or restrict these areas, and we wonder why performance is so hard to manage.

If you want to increase productivity don’t do this…

The reason your people aren’t performing isn’t what you think it is

In my work, one of the largest complaints CEOs and leaders have is that they struggle to get their people to perform at the level they are needing them to. Performance is important, no doubt. But performance is complex, and leaders often misjudge how they can improve their team’s performance and help their employees to be more productive. 

There are many contributing factors to performance. 

However, there is one thing you don’t want to do if you’re trying to motivate performance, don’t incentivize with money. 

We think of performance as results: the outcome that we get. But we first have to look at what is contributing to the work and decisions that produce the outcome. Performance is dictated intrinsically by each person. 

Most systems have been set up to only address the human drive for getting our needs met. Think of this as how to ensure we have security, food, and shelter—aka money. The problem with this is that money is proven to be a terrible motivator. 

Our drive to get our needs met is found in the “reptile” brain. This is the part of the brain that triggers flight, fight, or freeze. It is also the part of the brain that does not know how to reason. It is selfish and purely focused on making sure it is safe and gets what it wants. Everything gets filtered through this part of the brain first.

Knowing this, you can see how complex things like incentive plans that are based on levels of performance and how the business performed, etc. do not get processed in this downstairs part of the brain. It only rationalizes if things feel fair or harmful. 


The goal of compensation should be to make it a non-issue. Meaning, pay people well, fairly, and equitably and we don’t have to focus on it anymore. The reptile brain feels safe and secure and so the brain can move on to focus on drivers that are more engaging. We have to be careful of using compensation as an incentive for performance because then you are re-engaging the reptile brain, which triggers the selfish and fear response part of the brain.

For routine, left-brain tasks that can be helpful. It triggers a hyper-focus, and for tasks that don’t require creativity, problem-solving, relationship building, or abstract thinking it can be useful. 

But for the more executive and complex tasks, we need to safely pass through the reptile brain and reach the neocortex—the place where our brain solves problems forms relationships, and generates new ideas, all right-brain activities.

So how are we best motivated?

A study done in 1969 by Edward Deci revealed that carrots and sticks (rewards and consequence) were not only non-effective at motivating people to do their best work, but actually caused performance to dip. 

Since that study, we’ve learned more about how the brain is motivated.

There are three core motivators that drive performance greater than anything else. What’s shocking is that very few companies and organizations leverage these. Some even constrict or restrict these areas, and we wonder why performance is so hard to manage. 

Whether because of ignorance or pride, it’s costing businesses greatly. If companies want to solve the performance struggle more easily and effectively, they will need to learn how to optimize these three areas.


1. Autonomy: People’s drive for autonomy is one of the greatest motivators that employers are afraid to utilize. As adults, we need a balance of control and the ability to work in a way that supports our best selves within the span of our control. We all want that, no one is separate from that need. Autonomy offers that. However, we typically shut down autonomy because we look at it through a narrowed lens. If the business doesn’t believe it can offer one type of autonomy, it stops there, failing to find other ways to provide autonomy to its employees. Below are the main types of autonomy employees want:

    • How I do my work: Share the goals and what needs to be done, and then get out of the way and let them do it in a way that best suites them.

    • Where I do my work: With the rise of remote working over the past year, this is any area we’ve learned that we can do effectively. As offices open back up, the initial reaction is to require employees to come back in. But with so many companies going fully remote, there are too many options offering the flexibility employees are looking for.

    • When I do my work: On that same note, people are now working from all over the world, often working in different time zones. And even if all your employees work from the same office, the reality is people have different times when they do their best work, when they have the most energy, and can focus. Ask yourself if it’s really required for everyone to be on the same schedule. People can find times to overlap, but allow people flexibility to craft their schedule to best fit their needs.

Companies that can find ways to offer as much autonomy in these areas will find their employees motivated, engaged, and highly productive at levels greater than bonuses and incentives ever could produce. 


2.  Mastery: In the book, Talent is Overrated, the author goes through all of the alleged prodigies and those deemed to be gifted (Michael Jorden, Beethoven, Tiger Woods, etc.), and debunks the theory of “natural talent.” He explains that even those who were born with more talent didn’t become successful because of their natural talent, but rather their commitment to intense, focused practice, aka Mastery. 

The drive to want to master something is directly connected to the concept of flow. Flow is where your strengths are challenged enough to be fully engaged and you experience pleasure. What you want to achieve is the Goldilocks effect, according to Daniel Pink in his book, Drive. He explains that you want your strengths and talents to be challenged between not too little—which results in boredom, and not too much—which produces anxiety. 

What also is interesting is that flow also triggers the same places in the brain the experiences play. So when you give your employees the ability to engage in mastery and flow in their specific areas of strength, it registers as if they are playing—which equals highly engaged, happy workers. 


3. Purpose: The corporate Mission Statement is dead. People are looking for purpose. Over the last 30 years non-profits organizations have been on the rise. In the 1970’s researcher and psychologists, D.C. predicted the increase of not-for-profit organizations and the reason is the drive to be a part of something greater than themselves and the ability to serve a purpose. 

Because of this, more and more companies are positioning their companies in ways that do this, becoming purpose-driven organizations. B Corps and C corps are other examples. These special entities are for-profit businesses but are first centered on addressing a greater need and cause. These businesses are structured under special regulations that require them to prove this. 

Since the pandemic, people have also taken this time to discover their own purpose and reevaluate how they’re living their lives. Businesses & teams need to respond to the shift in culture by ditching their mission statement and doing a deep dive into who they are, what they want to be known for, and craft their Purpose Statement. But you can’t stop there—the next step is to analyze all the company’s practices and behaviors to ensure they align with their values and purpose. Bring employees into this process. Working with a specialist in this area will help you to streamline this process and increase engagement. 

While it’s tempting for companies to fall into the trap of “show me the money!” in an attempt to increase performance, productivity, and engagement, the studies have shown that these three drives are more effective and long-lasting. 

What area do you struggle with the most? 

If you’re a leader or business owner, choose one of these areas to focus on over the next 60 days and document the results. I guarantee you’ll find happier, more productive employees. 


Need help knowing where to start? Reach out and we’ll help you to identify 2 action steps to get started.

To learn more about how you can work with our award-winning specialists to implement culture and performance-based solutions, contact us here. 



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2021: The Year of "I Quit"

According to a recent survey and featured in an article in Forbes, 2021 is going to be the year of decreased company loyalty and the employee break-up.

After surviving 2020, a lot of companies believe that their employees are just grateful to have a job. While it might be true, that those who did not experience layoffs or furloughs are thankful to have not gone through that—what we are hearing from employees is a completely different tune.

2021 is going to be the year of turnover. People went through hell and back during 2020 and many are struggling to stay positive. They understood we were all just trying to figure things out and survive last year, but now they are looking to their companies to see how they are going to intentionally fix the disengagement, increase resources & support, and redesign culture & the employee experience in a post-covid world.

About this time, people are wrapping up Q1, performance reviews, and finally solidifying their goals. 

Now is when we get going. But before you push down on the gas pedal, you need to know some important data around the hot topic: retention & employee engagement.

According to a recent survey and featured in an article in Forbes, 2021 is going to be the year of decreased company loyalty and the employee break-up. 

After surviving 2020, a lot of companies believe that their employees are just grateful to have a job. While it might be true, that those who did not experience layoffs or furloughs, are thankful to have not gone through that—what we are hearing from employees is a completely different tune.

“I’ve never felt more disconnected from my team”

“I am extremely burnt out and don’t know how much more I can take”

“I am at the point of just quitting”

“Something has to change”

“I’m just waiting to see if anything changes, get my bonus, and then I’m out”

“I’m just keeping my head down and doing my work, but I’m already looking for something else”

I can guarantee you, 2021 is going to be the year of turnover. People went through hell and back during 2020 and many are struggling to stay positive. They understood we were all just trying to figure things out and survive last year, but now they are looking to their companies to see how they are going to intentionally fix the disengagement, increase resources & support, and redesign culture & the employee experience in a post-covid world. 

If this is not on the company’s agenda, they are going to find themselves with an expensive problem, regrettable turnover

  • Backfilling their best employees

  • Training new colleagues

  • The cost of new employees ramping to full productivity

On average, it takes a new employee 8 months to reach full productivity. This means, you will spend the majority of 2021 hiring and training new colleagues it you don’t make the investment in keeping your most valuable asset: your people

Here are some best practices that are shaping the future of being a best place to work:

  1. Embrace remote and flexible work: People are looking for options and if you are not talking about changing your previous expectations of being in an office 5 days a week, then I can promise you, most of your people are looking for a new job. Even with a vaccine and offices reopening things are not going back to pre-covid days. There are those with health issues or other reasons that they don’t feel comfortable coming back to an office or getting the vaccine. Their kid’s schooling may have changed or need to care for family members, the list goes on. One of the top priorities for people right now is the ability to have flexible work options. Flexibility of when to come to an office, able to work from a different location, or being able to work different hours than 9-5. Companies that can explore ways to do this efficiently and keep engagement high, will be the places people are begging to work for. If not, you can be sure that you will lose a significant portion of your workforce over the next year.

  2. Find ways to cut down on meetings: People are tired of zoom and meeting after meeting. Look to implement tools and software that allows people to get glimpses into the work being done without having to go to another meeting. There are amazing tools out there like Slack, monday.com, Asana, and lots more. Look for ways to streamline and drive connection without needing to be on video all day.

  3. Create ways for people to connect and engage that are meaningful: People miss the human connection. So find ways to create fun during the day and as you begin to open up, do it with the human approach before work productivity. Encourage colleagues in the same town to do socially distanced lunches, if they are comfortable. Host small gatherings or small group working sessions that can be socially distanced and make sure fun and connection is included. Host happy hours, that people can join virtually but with no other agenda but fun and getting to know each other.

  4. Prioritize development: One of the best ways to keep employees is to show them they have a future there and a way to grow with the company. Many coaching clients have come to us saying they are wanting to look for a new job because their company doesn’t seem to have ways for them to get promoted any time soon and they feel they have reached their ceiling. Take the time to create truly transformational leadership development and career pathing programs, that show people you are serious about keeping them and making them part of the company’s future.


The future of work is shifting at the speed of light, but one thing is for certain, it doesn’t look like going back to pre-covid workplace culture. 

The future of workplace culture is exciting and probably has the ability to be more authentic than ever before, but we have to be willing to leave our previous ideas behind and create something new. 

If you need help on how you can practically implement any of these best practices, reach out.

Here at Brave Leaders Group, we have been helping fully remote and dispersed workforces design brave cultures & build engaged, high-performing teams for the last 6 years. We understand the unique challenges and create customized solutions for companies that are serious about growth and having strong cultures.

We’d love to learn more and help you design a place where people love to work and thrive. 

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Vulnerability in the workplace

There are popular books circulating that say the key to success and the company growing to the next level is for risk-taking, courage, and failure to be welcomed and encouraged. But we don’t take the time to break down the old culture first: office politics, leave your emotions at the door, do things my way, know your place and act appropriately for your level, etc. All of these hinder the ability for vulnerable acts like risk-taking and creative thinking.

Brave happens when we dare. 
Dare to show up. 
Dare to be vulnerable. 
Dare to risk. 
Dare to make unpopular decisions.


All of these require courage and all are an act of vulnerability. 

If you google vulnerability in the workplace, the top hits you'll get are something like “Why vulnerability is crucial to success.” If you look up vulnerability in relationships the top results talk about it being key to the relationship’s success. So if vulnerability is what’s crucial and key to success, why is it not embraced more often in real life?

Vulnerability has become a buzzword, (thank you Brene Brown) but I want to give some examples of what it actually looks like, to show that while we may talk about it and say we want it, we often have no clue what to do when confronted with someone else’s vulnerability.

Vulnerability is your friend telling you that they are having money trouble and are afraid they won’t be able to pay their bills.

Vulnerability is your employee telling you that it feels like all you ever say to them is what they’re doing wrong, that they don’t feel appreciated, and that you feel that they can’t do anything right. 

Vulnerability is a colleague saying they’re suffering with depression.

Vulnerability is speaking up about racism and confronting your family about a comment they made that was hurtful.

Vulnerability is a direct report telling you that the team is struggling because they need clearer direction and defined expectations, but you’ve been too busy recently. 

Vulnerability is taking on a big new project, trying a new approach and failing

Vulnerability is a man prioritizing his family when he’s judged for not working 50+ hours a week. 

Vulnerability is realizing you hate your job and choosing to start something new when you have two kids at home and bills to pay.

Vulnerability is becoming emotional in front of your boss because the work environment is too toxic and stressful when the office culture says “showing emotions hinders your career.”

Vulnerability is a woman saying she might need to stop working to be more available to her kids.

Vulnerability is a man who was recently let go from his job because he wasn’t part of the direction of the company’s new plans. 

Vulnerability is a woman saying she doesn’t want kids.

Vulnerability is sharing your story about growing up black in an all-white community.


I know that is a lot but I wanted to show examples from all areas of life that we might be faced with. I also intentionally worded the first ones as being on the receiving end, because I think the problem with us being comfortable with vulnerability is not as much of us being willing to open up and be vulnerable, but us knowing what to do when someone is vulnerable with us and how often we fumble when faced with it.

If we are going to lead vulnerably and start practicing it ourselves, then we have to be ready when someone takes that risk with us. 

Part of the issue is that we are often uncomfortable with other people’s pain. Sitting with someone in their pain, with their shame, with their process, is tough. We say we are open to it, but in practice I’ve seen more often than not, people having a difficult time with it once they’re faced with it. 

For example, a couple of years ago when both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, I saw so many people post on social media about how sad it was and that if anyone they knew was considering suicide, to reach out to them and that they were there for them. My first reaction was actually “red flag, red flag!” Yes, that is wonderful, and those battling suicidal thoughts need people to turn to in those times, but people suffering with depression to the extent of suicide is a real and dangerous thing. And most people are ill-equipped to know how to handle that. I have seen people reach out when going through depression and how others froze not knowing what to do with that information. I also have seen people distance themselves from people when they are going through these things, probably because they don’t have the language or know what the best action is to help. We have to know when to encourage others to seek help and also know how to sit with someone in the midst of their pain, and not try to be the help.

When it comes to leading from a place of vulnerability and creating a culture of it in our work and teams, there is a dichotomy at play that I think we have to tackle before we can start telling people to be vulnerable in the workplace. 


There are popular books circulating that say the key to success and the company growing to the next level is for risk-taking, courage, and failure to be welcomed and encouraged. But we don’t take the time to break down the old culture first: office politics, leave your emotions at the door, do things my way, know your place and act appropriately for your level, etc. All of these hinder the ability for vulnerable acts like risk-taking and creative thinking.

As someone who has worked in corporate leadership, and specializes in Leadership & Organizational development, I can confidently say that you cannot safely have vulnerability in the workplace if we don’t take the time to intentionally break the traditional corporate culture down. 
Vulnerability won’t work and those who take the risks will be punished and pushed out.

I truly believe and have seen in my own life that vulnerability is required if we are going to lead with courage, have meaningful connections, and if we’re going to live our lives with purpose. 
But I also know that in order to get there, we have to be prepared when we are faced with another's vulnerability and learn how to embrace it, sit with them in it, empathize, and move closer, not further away, in our connections. 

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What is Courageous Leadership

This is culture, and now with so much of the world working virtually, we’re realizing it. So many of the companies that depended on their casual Fridays, ping pong tables, and free snacks are discovering that they didn’t do the real culture work and their employee’s have taken off their rose colored glasses and don’t like what they see.

This is why leadership is crucial. Each one of these things are dependent on the leader to create the atmosphere for them and ensure they are upheld.

What is courageous leadership?

This week in the United States, we hosted our first Presidential debate. For those who don’t pay attention to the media, I will just tell you that the majority of analyst and the American people agreed that no one won that debate—it was the equivalent of two 3-year olds fighting over a swing-set. I watched in disbelief that these were our candidates. These two men are the ones that the American people are going to have to choose from to lead the country. Both of these men felt that how they behaved is appropriate for someone in leadership. My, how our standards of leadership have fallen.

Someone messaged me and asked what brave culture and courageous leadership look like. “How does that show up in the workplace and how do you create it?”

There is a lot to unpack in those questions. Which is why it’s so rare to find. There is so much surface level aspects to leading that we typically focus on, that are useful skills but don’t require you to truly dig deep into what it takes to lead with courage.

In order to have brave culture, you have to have brave, courageous leaders. That’s because leaders are the largest contributing factor to culture. You can’t have great culture with terrible leaders—you just end up with good perks and benefits.


Culture is:

how people feel when they walk into the office

how open they feel to speak up in a meeting

who has a seat at the table

if inclusion is actually a reality in the teams or just a good slogan

how safe it is to bring your whole-self to work

how values are lived, expressed, and used in decision making


This is culture, and now with so much of the world working virtually, we’re realizing it. So many of the companies that depended on their casual Fridays, ping pong tables, and free snacks are discovering that they didn’t do the real culture work and their employee’s have taken off their rose colored glasses and don’t like what they see.

This is why leadership is crucial. Each one of these things are dependent on the leader to create the atmosphere for them and ensure they are upheld.

I’ve looked a lot at leadership and I’ve found it’s not how you lead when things are good, when you’re inspired and motivated, or when things are growing and energized that matters. It is

  • When our opinions and ways of doing things are challenged

  • When we are frustrated or our buttons are pushed

  • When our resources are cut

  • When you have a choice of taking the easy way out or doing what’s inconvenient for you

  • When you have to choose between yourself, your own comfort, and your own way—or sacrificing it for those you lead

This is when your leadership is actually put to the test and you find out if you are truly leading or merely managing with influence.

I read an article in the midst of quarantine and it said that lots of companies were finding that their leaders were using Covid as an excuse to cut people they had issues working with (aka “low hanging fruit”) but couldn’t make a case for previously. I was appalled. What an example of how watered down and superficial our current leadership programs must be if these were the leaders we were creating—ones that would cause undue harm, at the worst possible time, just to make their jobs easier rather then doing the work of leading and developing those they lead. This is not leadership and it shows just how much we have stripped the humanity away from our culture.

There is not a simple step-by-step answer on how to create brave cultures, but I can tell you it starts with creating brave, courageous leaders.

How do we do this? You start with yourself. You must do the internal work to understand your own triggers, your breaking points, your limitations, where your selfishness kicks in, your insecurities, your fears, and learn how to dive into those places and do the internal work so that you can lead others well, even when the going gets tough and you’re in your low points.

Leadership is hard. You will have people you don’t like, and who might not like you, that you will have to lead. You will have people challenge you. You will be put in circumstances that will require you to choose between tremendous sacrifice, patience, and dying-to-self or choosing to make yourself more comfortable and your job easier.

You can’t have both. You can’t be self-serving and be a leader, they are fundamentally opposed to one another. Leadership, true leadership, is a life-long act of guiding while serving others above yourself.


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The 80/20 Principle: How to hyper-focus and set priorities

Remember when the pandemic first hit and we all thought we’d spend a few months working from home and then things would go back to “normal?”  
Yes, I've also had to come to grips with the fact that this is our new normal: sharing workspaces with 4 other people in our house, being full-time stay-at-home working parents, and now if you have school-aged kids you may be adding full-time teacher to that list as well, yay...

This week I worked with four different clients who all are doing their best to figure out how to lead their teams who are facing the fact that now, with their kids having to do school at home, they will be responsible for both their work responsibilities and their kid’s education. As leaders, we absolutely have to face the reality that this year will be different. All those incredible goals you and your team set back in January, have to shift (if they haven’t already), but more than just goals, your expectations for your team and yourself have to shift as well. Realistic expectations are key for success, health, and maintaining good relationships with each other. 

But as leaders, we also know that we have a business to run. If we want to keep our jobs then we have to grow profits and deliver results. So how do we go this realistically- while maintaining our relational, mental, and physical health? We are going to have to get really clear on what is truly important and use the time we have to its full potential. 

I wanted to share a tool that has helped me tremendously with my focus and productivity:

The Pareto Principle, also known as the 80:20 Rule. Simply put, the 80:20 rule is that 80% of our results come from 20% of our efforts. Several studies have found that 80% of a company's revenue comes from only 20% of their customers. So if you have a project due, or there are sales numbers or KPIs you have to hit, then you have to determine what is the 20% of your activity that you need to hyper-focus on in order to get those results but also what is the 80% of distraction that is wasting your time.
To make this easy, I put together a simple process to follow, that I call the 3 D’s:

  • Discover your top strengths - what you do best. Make a list of maybe 4 or 5 areas of strength.

  • Determine your key responsibilities. You can do this by grouping your tasks to create a list of about 10 responsibilities and then narrowing it down to 2 or 3 (MAX) that only you can do. 

  • Delegate. Now, using your list above, you can see the other 7 or 8 areas that you’ll need to delegate to your team. If you don’t have a team, then you’ll need to discover what items on that list can come off (because honestly, they aren’t helping you achieve results) or you’ll have to prioritize them based on the key indicators and results and how each activity most contributes to achieving those. If it doesn’t, then it either comes off the list or will have to wait. 


Help your team go through this practice as well. In your next team meeting, walk them through an exercise where they write down their strengths, group their activity into 10 responsibilities and help them narrow down the 2 or 3 that create the most impact. Then help them to know how to prioritize and focus on those key areas. 

The reality is, most people will not, and cannot, work 40 hours a week in the current environment. The good news is that we don’t need 40+ hours a week to get results. We just have to hyper-focus on the activity that really creates impact and produces results, this is called the vital few. The extra fluff, also known as the trivial many (aka distractions), has to be thrown out.

If you want to learn more about The Pareto Principle, I highly recommend this article on using the 80:20 principle to become a better leader.

What are you doing to juggle all the competing priorities, in the midst of limited resources, space, and limited ability to connect and interact? Comment and let me know! It's so important to be learning from each other.

Lastly, If you're looking to optimize your leadership to drive results, improve team effectiveness, lead change, achieve balance so you can show up well in every area of your life, determine your career goals and work from your purpose, and all the skills needed to lead in the midst of a pandemic go here to schedule a call to learn what executive and leadership coaching can provide for you.

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Purpose Kristen Knowles Purpose Kristen Knowles

That time I asked myself the hard question and the answer I didn't want to hear

In 2019, I came to grips with the harsh reality that for years I had been waiting on the sidelines to hopefully one day pursue my dreams and start living out my purpose. 

This meant that I felt no purpose in what I was doing in my day-to-day. Sure I found meaning in raising my daughter and with my family, but I felt exhausted and meaningless in my work and daily life. I was living in a constant state of “one day.” This is how a lot of people feel—that purpose is something large scale like pursuing a dream, starting a business, or achieving something grand.

But the truth I found over the last year is that purpose is about living intentionally. I believe this is where most people get confused and hold themselves back. They believe they have to see a dream being fulfilled or figure out their “reason for living,” aka their purpose, and if they’re not then they are just on the sidelines hoping to one day be in the game. 

I started to learn that purpose is practically walked out when we understand how our actions are connected to something bigger than ourselves. I used to think that looks like being a public figure, saving lives, owning a company, being an influencer, doing ministry, etc., but it’s actually much simpler and deeper than that. I started to look at how every little action I took connected to something larger. The opportunity to contribute to something bigger than us is already available, we just have to shift our focus to see it. 

Here's an example from one of my coaching clients:


Mark: Financial advisor, works with clients in the middle-class income range, no huge portfolios to manage, nothing fancy

Recent Situation: He helped a family get their budget in order and after years of struggling to get out of debt, they finally paid off their credit card bill after working with Mark. He also helped set up income protection for this family, and recently the husband was diagnosed with cancer. Now he is able to take the time off work he needs to focus on his health and get well, while still being able to bring in a paycheck, all because they worked with him. They don’t lose their house and the family has one less stress in the midst of a highly emotional time- and this is possible because of the help he provided.   

In Mark’s personal life: He leaves work early and picks up his kids from school once a week. It’s a weekly tradition he’s kept in place since he had his first child. His son recently was being bullied. On one of the outings, he opened up and shared what he’s going through. He trusts his dad because of the relationship they’ve developed over the years. His son’s friends are shocked that he would even consider talking to his dad about that kind of stuff. But because of the years Mark spent encouraging him, showing how proud of him he is, sharing his own stories of pain, and calling out his son’s identity he feels comfortable talking to his dad. Because he’s taken the time to really know his son, they have a deep relationship. This has created a confident teenager, who navigates school and peer pressure well. 


You can see through the story above that purpose is tied to legacy. When we live from a place of legacy we start to see the purpose in the small actions of our day to day lives. In my work, I always stress the importance of living a life full of purpose because I believe that if we aren’t living intentionally in every area of our lives, then we are not living from our purpose. We can not let our drive to accomplish our dreams or achieve greatness cause us to bankrupt the other areas of our life.We do this through intentional living. Here are some practical ways to do this.
 

Weigh our decisions carefully and thoughtfully.
For instance, when we are faced with needing to decide a course of action, whether to add something new to our plate or how to approach a situation, consider the long term effects and how those involved will be impacted. Weigh these pieces carefully and remember life is a marathon, not a sprint


Commit to a decision and don’t break promises, especially to yourself. 
So often we are the first person we let down. We do this because it’s easier to forgive ourselves, rather than fear disappointing someone else. After all, at least if we have to cancel on ourselves it doesn’t require us to explain the reason why and end up in conflict. But how we treat ourselves communicates to others how they’re allowed to treat us. If we devalue ourselves, it communicates to others that it’s ok for them to not value us and our needs. If we don’t honor our schedule, it tells others that they also don’t have to respect our time


Make intentional deposits, consistently and often.
After our own needs, I find that our family and loved ones are often the next on the chopping block. We tell ourselves that they’ll understand, we’ll make it up to them later, or they’re way more forgiving than our boss, student, clients… you fill in the blank. But those actions corrode the trust bank we have with our loved ones. I cannot tell you how many fractured marriages and relationships I see in my work, and how many people tell me that they wish they could go back and do it over again. We don’t always get a do-over. Those closest to us deserve our best and remember our relationships have a bank. Like any bank account, if we only make withdrawals and forget to make consistent deposits, we’ll end up over-drawn and bankrupt. So look for ways to make daily deposits. Invest in your relationships and keep your commitments, and it will build connection


Connect your work to the greater cause and show up for it fully. 
I once worked for a staffing agency. It was a thankless job that worked to place people with complicated backgrounds in manufacturing jobs. It was exhausting and left me frustrated more days than not. But I started learning from my boss the art of hearing people’s stories. Why were they here, what led them to where they were in their life, what were their struggles and their dreams? I started to see their humanity, people who had real lives, pain, and passions like myself. So I recognized that when I helped Travis get a job, I helped him sleep better at night and pay his bills. When he dropped the ball and didn’t show up for work, I now didn’t get offended and think of him as lazy, but instead provided accountability for him to learn and tie it back to how it impacted his loved ones. Maybe he didn’t have someone growing up to teach him about work ethic but I could be someone he might learn from. Trust me, it still had its hard days but now my work had meaning and it was impacting people on a much greater scale. When we link our work to the big picture we start to walk out the purpose found in our daily lives. 

Consider this:

  • What area of your life have you been neglecting?

  • Are there relationships that are suffering because you’ve forgotten to make deposits? 

  • Do you rush through life forgetting to live intentionally? 

  • Do you break promises to yourself because it’s easier than letting other people down?


The real question is, what are you going to do differently? Let me know how you are going to start living your life intentionally and connected to purpose. The time is now to start living full of purpose!

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Leadership, Purpose Kristen Knowles Leadership, Purpose Kristen Knowles

Brave Leadership - Leading From Purpose

I fell into leadership somewhat haphazardly.  For someone that plans everything, I know that is hard to believe.  I didn’t set out to be an educator and influencer in leadership, but like most things in my life that somehow found their way in, after years of trying to redirect the ship to be exactly what I wanted my life and calling to look like, here I am surrendering to it, to who I am and what I am called to do...

to create brave leaders who changed the world

Why Brave Leadership?

I have spent the majority of my career developing leaders and helping organizations grow. I've run programs that have won awards from all over the world, I've traveled and spoken to groups on how to grow in leadership skills, and I've learned what truly differentiates a leader from someone who just manages. And believe me, there’s a big difference between the two. Not just in whether people like their boss or job, but in the leader’s influence and overall success.

Surrendering to my calling to pour into leaders so that they can change the world, has been the best decision in all of my career. In my own career journey, I ended up being thrown into the deep end of leadership and discovered that true leadership takes sacrifice, vulnerability, courage, and most of all transformation. If there is one important truth I would urge you to learn it is this: great leaders continually develop and transform to become better versions of themselves and grow into who they need to be in order to excel in the callings where they have been appointed to lead. 

So if leadership, which is not management (that’s a different topic), requires sacrifice, vulnerability, courage, and transformation then what it actually requires is bravery. No one runs after sacrifice, pain, and loss voluntarily, but in choosing leadership there is a decision that has to be made, at some point, where you do walk into those things or you fail. You may make money and become successful, but you will not become a courageous leader that marks history if you do not ever decide to walk through the fire. 

"A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the equality of his actions and the integrity of his intent."

Douglas MacArthur


What is Brave Leadership?

This has been a hard piece to quantify.  I will do my best to spell out practically without becoming too lofty and idealistic.

Brave Leadership first takes dying to self.  If I care more about my achievements and publicizing my name, then I am not a leader.  I may be powerful and successful, but leading by definition is showing others the way. I cannot best lead others without letting the pride and ego die off first.

Brave Leadership is vulnerable.  It communicates concern, fear, weaknesses, needs, and feelings (yep, you heard that right).  We all know leadership takes risk, but when people are involved we cannot ignore that feelings are a part of the equation.  Taking a risk to put yourself out there, and know that you may be hurt or disappointed, is exactly the kind of leadership that people want to follow.  We are in a time where everyone is feeling deeply and the climate is thick from the unknown. You cannot flippantly make tough decisions that possibly could, or will, end devastatingly; people that do this are not the kind of leaders others want to entrust their lives to. 

Brave Leadership requires courage.  Courage for tough decisions and tough conversations.  We all have had those interactions with others that we can tell they are not saying something or are being passive aggressive with us.  They don’t want to rock the boat, offend people, or make us upset. But the fact is leaving someone in the unknown is cowardly.  Most people can sense when something is off and are annoyed by passive aggressiveness. They will either never grow, which means you failed this person as their leader, or they will leave to go to someone who will help them grow, which also means you failed as their leader. Either way, the other person is never the only one impacted by the decision to not own the courage to have tough conversations, and with vulnerability and kindness to show that you care about the other person.

Brave Leadership requires transformation.  This has perhaps been the most impactful truth I have had to face in my leadership journey.  I cannot stay the same. While being authentic is paramount, I believe we have lost the truth that we can be authentic while also understanding our need to grow and transform. Transformation is actually the path towards becoming our most authentic self. We pick up falsehoods, lies, and fears from the time we are young and transformation is often what it takes to face those things and become who we truly are at our core. Early in work, I realized I was not who I needed to be to walk in the dreams and callings that I had. My journey and transformation have shaped me into the person who could carry the weight of my passion and responsibilities of my calling. Leaders who do not understand that they must continue to transform to become healthier, more purposeful leaders will become stagnant and their leadership will eventually stop. Instead, they will move into a compulsive power and authoritative commander- that may get results but it’s not leadership.


If you’re still with me in this conversation you may be asking yourself what makes this space different, in a field where the conversation is loud at best and deafening more often than not. Leadership is talked about a lot, yes. But leadership has so many facets, leadership doesn’t always equal being a professional in the workplace.

  • Community leader

  • Stay at home parents are leaders

  • School leader

  • And most of all, I believe we are on a personal journey of becoming stronger, deeper, and more focused individuals- allowing us to become leaders in our circles of influence and the world around us.

For this reason, I think something is missing from the conversation. This is what I am attempting to add to the topic. I work in leadership and what I hear is that we are desperate for this type of Leadership: one that is raw, authentic, and scarce in today’s world. 

My desire is that this will be a space where we can explore how to become brave leaders, living fully in our purpose, and what it looks like in our everyday lives: in the dead-end job, in the piles of bills, the busy schedules, and to-do’s lists, in the longing that we know we are meant for something more but see no way to that path. What is the goal in all of this? Full Purpose Living. 

That is the destination.  That is the answer. That is the ache.

Welcome to the journey.

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